It’s been quite long time I have not witnessed the first lights of a new day. (waiting in calmness)
And here I am, with Al Green singing to me – or better say meows to me -. :))
Recalls many things for sure;
I was driving on the highway once, to Gümüşlük. The radio channel went crazy as the rain impatiently lost its temper and started beating the hull. The radio played so good the following hours that I could not get out of the car even after 2 hours of being in Gümüşlük and I looked like an idiot driving all the way down there only to sit in the car – parked in the carpark, and party myself. Or, the radio and myself… :))
And it was just last Sunday afternoon, mom, sister, my son and I were back in the car, on the way home from the beach. My father called and asked whether we could pick him from where he got of the minibus. He was just going to be late and we were supposed to wait for him around 20 minutes.
My so called Siberian mother cannot easily tolerate being late so she was slightly angry waiting in the car that long. Her nerves attacked ours as well, quite contagious, and we found ourselves in a mood that was weird compared to a beautiful Sunday.
All of a sudden, she turned the radio on, it was late 60’s or 70’s, “Let the sunshine in” filled the car.
She turned the volume on and on, till we looked like teenagers in the car, and 3 of us sang loudly the whole song.
It was that moment, my father opened the front door, seated himself and said he would have always been late if only he had known we welcomed him in such high spirits :)))
3 women just gave eachother a short glimpse remembering the nervous mood just before the radio was on :))
Then my sister held my hand and looked into my eyes, without a word I knew what she meant. We were just lucky having these two people still next to us healthy and lively.
My dear, although I failed to form such a family pattern for my halfling, I see I have few good friends and their children as well, and I’ll try to have more good friends for sure.. I think there’re always ways if only we choose …
My son just woke up as i keep writing, stepped into the living room with his cute pijamas and naked feet, saying sleeping in his bed was too boring so he decided to sneak into my bed :))
Sleeping in his bed is boring 🙂
But sleeping in my bed regardless of me being there, is sort of fun??? :DD
Lol, i like these moments.
He felt I was about to laugh and he smiled with eyelids falling downwards , walking back on his naked feet :))
Today I watched him picking almonds from the tree, cracking gently the green skin using my father’s hammer, and cracking the brown shell, taking the fresh almond from inside, peeling the white soft skin and chewing… Damn, he took it so serious and kept doing the same for half an hour as if it was his very special rituel!!
My dear, yes I sometimes feel really lonely being in this town, however, I’m in the right place at least for now – especially considering the environment surrounding me and my son in this village.
I did the right thing and I’ll keep doing it till he cannot stand this place and need a change.
Yes, I really sometimes need someone next to me to witness this beautiful view as to declare that I really exist and ‘live’, and I sometimes get angry to the beautiful moon or clouds when I’m alone, that they appear with all their charm and I have nobody to share that moment…
But then… I’m learning…
And there’s you… yes not physically next to me, but I learn putting the moments in words and passing them to the one I love…
I don’t have the feeling that I miss these good moments after I got to know you…
I know someone out there, you, whenever there’s this stunning view in our lands, (thanks we can see the beautiful view more or less at the same time and you’re not geographically that far yet) we notice it and feel impressed in similar ways… then we have these long night talks…
If I tell you now that there’s a beautiful landscape with the first lights of the morning and the sea looks flat like mirror, you’ll feel and share and know exactly how I feel when I talk about it.
You have no idea how it feels to have you in this life.
I’ve never felt that strong before.
You’re so close…
There’s no blank, nothing lacks, no void when there’s your existence on earth. Anywhere on the earth, regardless of distance…
I love you. As simple as possible.
You’re more than being special.
You mean much more…
Hope you wake up to a beautiful day.